


The Hard Years

by emocezi



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 01:57:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6834373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emocezi/pseuds/emocezi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi Wan has enough people who owe him favors, even after everything goes to hell, that it's relatively easy to get Cody.  Well, easy meaning Cody gets drugged and hand delivered to him and payment is every credit he has available and a promise that if there's ever trouble, he'll have a place available for the trooper that helped him get Cody out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Olorisstra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olorisstra/gifts).



> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I started watching The Clone Wars about a week ago. And it's a fairly painful process, especially since I know what the endgame of this show is going to be. So in lieu of that, I'm making up my own damn headcanons to help with the coping process of this thrice-damned show!!!
> 
> Also, this is gonna be endgame Obi Wan/Cody. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Obi Wan has enough people who owe him favors, even after everything goes to hell, that it's relatively easy to get Cody. Well, easy meaning Cody gets drugged and hand delivered to him and payment is every credit he has available and a promise that if there's ever trouble, he'll have a place available for the trooper that helped him get Cody out.

Rex is harder to find. He's in the wind, and it takes Obi Wan three months to get even the barest hint that the man is still alive. He knew Rex wasn't gone, could feel his presence in the force whenever he looked. 

He doesn't have time to track Rex down himself, not when he's too busy flying under the radar and trying not to get himself or Cody or the youngling now under his protection killed. But whenever he has the chance, he sends coded messages to the star system he's heard rumors Rex is in. 

He never gives any actual intelligence as to his position, or where he's headed. If anyone but Rex were to read the jaw-jag he sends out, it would look like nothing but gossip. There's clues hidden in the messages only someone who served with him for years would be able to decipher. Obi Wan always was a wiley sleemo when he wanted to be. 

It's hard for a long while. He keeps Cody drugged into compliance until he can find someone who will take out the kriffing implant in Cody's head, and only after it's been removed, only when they're hiding in a cave system on some backwater moon that orbits Dagobah, that he stops drugging his former Commander.

It's going to get a lot harder from here on out, and he needs all the help he can get to slip between the fingers of the Republic. He needs Cody. _They_ need Cody.

Luke is six months old by this point. He's spent nearly every day of his life since he was born strapped to Obi Wan's chest, grounded and soothed by both Obi Wan's forcefeel and his heartbeat. He barely cries, seems to know somehow that he has to stay quiet, and it's just one little relief that Luke doesn't fuss and draw attention to them.

It takes a full week of Obi Wan dialing down the dosage of prozex to get it safely out of Cody's system. There's no medical droids here, no bacta tanks he can throw the clone in for twelve hours to purge the drug he's been administering. This is all he can do and he's not cruel enough to pull Cody out of his drug induced haze cold turkey.

There's no chills or seizures or vomiting, or any other bodily fluids that normally comes with a detox, and for that Obi Wan is grateful. He knows from experience though, that Cody will have one hell of a splitting headache when he wakes up from the force induced slumber he was put under to help with the transition. There's no painkillers way out here, but Obi Wan found a copse of soldiers poppy, something that, if brewed properly, will take away the worst of Cody's headache for a few hours at least.

XxX XxX

Cody comes around slowly. There's a fire burning, and Obi Wan is sitting half in the shadows, bouncing an infant on his knee. The last time Cody saw his general, his brain had been turned to jelly and he'd seen the man as the enemy he'd been fighting against his whole life. As far as he knew when things had cleared and he'd gotten his brain back, his general was in the wind and he'd fired on the man, the man he'd sworn to serve and protect.

"Sir?" His voice is barely a whisper. He thinks he's dreaming. Though even his dreams were never this cruel.

"Cody." Obi Wan doesn't look up from where he's making faces at the infant to make him giggle. "I made you some poppy tea for the headache."

Cody pushes himself up, about to tell his General that he doesn't have a headache, that this is a dream and he's never in pain in dreams. And then the headache hits and Cody just sits there, head pounding like he's got a gaggle of clankers dancing a jig up and down his frontal lobe

Not a dream.

General Obi Wan Kenobi is alive. Cody was the one to fire on him, but he escaped. He escaped, and he's here, wherever here is. And he's got a baby. 

Cody has no fucking clue what's going on, but it doesn't matter because his General is alive and well and he's never going to leave the man's side again. His life belongs to Obi Wan. He has a debt to repay for what he's done and he'll spend the rest of his life repaying it.

"I want to-" His voice drops away and he's not sure he can even speak the words but he makes himself say them. "I want to apologize."

"Apology accepted." Obi Wan says without hesitation.

"Sir. I owe you a life debt." Cody says, forcing himself to look at his General. His head is throbbing, his eyes are starting from the pain and the flickering light.

"I know you do." Obi Wan says, voice gentle. "And I accept it. Now drink your tea." For a long moment, Cody wants to refuse. It's only pain, and it's pain he deserves for his actions. Obi Wan seems to see directly into his mind and he looks up finally from the infant he's cuddling. "Cody, drink your tea." His voice is stern, a general ordering his men. Cody has never been one to ignore his generals orders and he won't start now.

"Yes sir."

Obi Wan tucks Luke against his chest, strapping him down so the boy can sleep and turns his attention back on Cody who's sipping from the bowl Obi Wan had brought with him. It was one of Padme's, something he'd taken from her apartments before he'd fled Naboo with Luke in his arms. When Luke is older, he'll give it to the boy, but for now he keeps it as a reminder of what he has to loose if he doesn't keep this precious child safe.

The tension in Cody's shoulders seems to lessen with every sip, the headache slipping away and it's only when the bowl is empty that Obi Wan passes the clone a bit of dried jerky and a two spheres of fruit he'd found on the trees outside.

"Do you want to know what happened?"

"I know what happened." Cody says, peeling the fruit and tearing the segmented pieces apart, popping one of them into his mouth. It's sweet, probably sweeter than anything the clone has ever eaten before and Obi Wan can't help but smile at the look of shock that crosses Cody's face as he chews. "What is this?"

"I have no idea, but they're delicious." Obi Wan says, adding a few more sticks to the small fire. He'll let Cody enjoy his meal before he continues on with what's going to be a difficult conversation. "There's a small village about three hours walk from here." He says after a few moments of stirring the fire to ensure maximum warmth and light. "We'll head there tomorrow."

"Why not tonight?" Cody asks, tossing the peels into the fire and starting on his jerky. "Less chance of people spotting us if we're moving under cover of darkness." It doesn't need to be said, Obi Wan is an excellent strategist, but Cody feels like he needs to talk.

"True." Obi Wan nods, peeling a fruit for himself and offering Cody half of it. "But buying a flight off this moon isn't going to turn up half as much news as it would if we stole a ship. The alliance is looking for us."

"Don't run when you can walk." Cody supplies and Obi Wan nods, giving him a pleased look. 

"Exactly." 

XxX XxX

Obi Wan takes the first watch that night, after what could tentatively be called an argument with Cody who had been fairly adamant that he could take the first watch and let his General rest. Obi Wan had been adamant that Cody still needed to rest before he was at full capacity and had pulled a rank they both knew he no longer had. 

Obi Wan would always be General Kenobi to Cody, and as much as it rankles him when he's given an order he doesn't want to comply with, he listens. This at least, isn't the sort of danger Obi Wan is usually throwing himself into headfirst. The only thing out there in the darkness is wild things, and Obi Wan has a handheld blaster, a boot knife, and his light saber. Nothing short of a Sithlord is going to make it past Obi Wan tonight.

Cody doesn't sleep well, waking up over and over from dreams of standing over Obi Wan while he chokes to death on his own blood. After the third time he wakes he pushes himself up from the bed of reeds and moss and stalks over to the cave opening. 

"Can't sleep? Obi Wan asks as he nears and Cody grunts at him and settles down beside the Jedi. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly." Cody grunts again, looking out into the darkness. "Bad dreams. I get them."

"As do I." Obi Wan says and Cody doesn't look over, just keeps looking out, eyes flicking over shapes and shadows that move in the dark. "Sometimes it helps to talk about them."

"I keep dreaming I killed you." Cody says simply. "That I'm standing over you, watching you bleed out, watching you die. And I don't care. Feels like I'm hollow, an' there's a spark of evil inside the hollowness." He jerks a shoulder. 

"But you didn't kill me." Obi Wan says, like that fixes everything. Cody looks over at him, a bit of frustration filtering over his face. 

"I tried to." He says, hands clenching into fists. "I aimed the cannons at you while you were on the cliffs. I ordered them to fire."

"That wasn't you." Obi Wan says and gives Cody's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "That was -"

"I know what it was." Cody snaps without meaning to. "Knowing what it was doesn't help. _I_ gave the order, sir. I ordered my men to shoot you down."

"Cody." Obi Wan's voice is gentle, soft in the way it is when he talks to the younglings in the temple. "You didn't have a choice." 

"I-." Cody can feel something rising up in him. Grief and anger and horror at what he did, at what he's _done._

"You didn't have a choice." Obi Wan says again. "They took that choice away from you. The Sith took away your free will, they took away your humanity. It wasn't _you_ who fired at me. It was _them._ "

"They used me." Cody says quietly, his breath hitching and Obi Wan nods. 

"They used you." He agrees. "And your brothers. They used all of you, turned you into a mockery of what you should have been, of what you were born to be." Cody wipes at his eyes, turning his head away so the general won't see. Tears are useless, they don't change anything, they don't fix anything. They wear a body out and waste precious resources like moisture. Clones don't waste time and fluid on tears.

"Sorry, sir." His voice is gruff and Obi Wan squeezes his shoulder again.

"No need to apologize." He tells Cody. "Try and get a few more hours of sleep. I'll wake you when it's your watch."

"Sir." Cody nods and gets to his feet, moving back into the cave. When he closes his eyes this time, there's no dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

When Cody wakes again it's morning and Obi Wan is feeding the infant. Where he got the bottle and formula is a mystery, but the infant is guzzling formula like he doesn't know where his next meal is coming from. Cody isn't sure if all infants eat like that, or if this one is just greedy.

"You should have woken me for my watch."

"You needed the sleep." Obi Wan says simply.

"I'm fine, sir."

"I need you at peak capacity today. And frankly, you needed the sleep more than I did."

"Excuse the language. But that is a load of bantha shit, sir." Cody says, shoving himself up from his makeshift bed. It wasn't exactly comfortable but he's slept in a hell of a lot of worse places. "I don't know how long you've been on the run, exactly. But you've been taking care of me and that kid, and now you've got me at peak capacity." Obi Wan's face goes blank and at any other time, Cody would apologize for stepping over the line. But Obi Wan isn't his general anymore and they're running from the Rebupblic. He'll defer to Obi Wan when he needs to, but this isn't one of those times. "Give me the kid." 

"His name is Luke." Obi Wan says, passing him over without the fight Cody was sure they were about to have. 

"Where'd you get a kid, anyway?" Cody asks, looking down at the baby that's staring right back up at him with blue eyes that seem just a little too familiar.

"He was given to me." Obi Wan says in a way that Cody knows from experience is him choosing his words very carefully. 

"By who?" 

"Padme." Obi Wan says, packing what little he has with him in a small satchel. Cody sucks in a breath and looks back down at the baby. And those familiar blue eyes catch onto his own again. 

"He's General Skywalker's son?" Cody asks and Obi Wan nods. 

"He is. I'm taking him somewhere where he'll be safe."

"Safe from who?" Cody asks, not sure he wants to know the answer. Obi Wan doesn't answer and Cody pats Luke's back when he starts getting fussy. "Sir?" Obi Wan kicks at the ashes of the fire, spreading them out so there's less evidence anyone spent the night here.

"His father."

"Sir?" Cody's voice is quiet and he realizes he's squeezing Luke when the baby starts to make unhappy noises. "Are you saying that General Skywalker is still alive?" Obi Wan gives a single sharp nod of his head and puts the satchel over his head so it sits crossways over his chest. 

"Are you going to carry Luke today, then?" Obi Wan asks and Cody nods. 

"Yes sir. I'll keep him safe."

"I have no doubts of that." Obi Wan says with a tired little smile and takes up the sort of sling Cody has seen mothers wear to keep their infants close and safe. Obi Wan winds it around Cody's broad shoulders and chest, settling Luke into the sling so his little head rests over Cody's heart.

General Skywalker is alive. But Obi Wan isn't saying more. What happened, Cody can't help but wonder. Something big, something that Obi Wan doesn't feel comfortable talking about.

"Call me Ben from now on." Obi Wan says and Cody looks up at him.

"Sir?"

"Obi Wan is a name known throughout the galaxy and we need to lay low."

"Yes sir." Cody nods and Obi Wan gives him an exasperated look.

"Ben."

"Yes sir"

"My name isn't sir." Obi Wan says blandly and Cody gives him a little smile.

"It is to me." Obi Wan doesn't glare at him, but his face gets a pinched look to it. Cody barely keeps from rolling his eyes. "Your name is Ben."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir." Cody says and walks outside, laughing to himself at Obi Wan's put upon sigh.

XxX XxX

The morning meal consists of more jerky and the sweet tasting fruit from the night before. They eat while they walk, Obi Wan trading the single canteen of water back and forth between them.

The town, when they come to it's borders, can barely be called that. It's a smattering of huts with a single ship on the outskirts of the cleared land. Cody takes his time circling the town, moving carefully through the shadows of the trees. There's no more white armor to catch the light, instead he's in his black undersuit and some of the layered robes Obi Wan has always been fond of. It's so much easier to blend into the shadows this way.

Obi Wan is waiting when Cody completes his surveillance loop. He's feeding Luke again, setting the bottle down when Cody comes back to crouch beside him. He flips a towel over his shoulder and starts patting Luke's back until the baby spits up a bit. Cody makes a bit of a face and Obi Wan smiles at him.

"You've never seen a baby being burped?"

"Is that what that was?" Cody asks and then starts to draw a diagram in the dirt with a twig he'd picked up. "If I create a distraction, it should give you enough time to break into the ship and start it up. I'll head to an extraction point and meet you there in a day."

"That won't be necessary." Obi Wan says. "But I appreciate your strategy."

"What did you have in mind, sir?" 

"We ask for a ride." Obi Wan says and Cody just looks at him.

"We just _ask_ for a ride?" He repeats and Obi Wan nods. "No one's going to think it's suspicious, two men with an infant coming out of the jungle and asking for a ride up to the nearest star port?"

"The worst they can say is no." Obi Wan says and Cody gives him a flat look.

"That is _not_ the worst case scenario." 

"I need you to have some faith in these people, that they'll do the right thing."

"You've been chewing lunar weed." Cody mutters. 

"Just trust me on this."

"I trust you, sir." Cody says with a little shake of his head, taking Luke back from Obi Wan and settling him in the sling again.

XxX XxX

Kayjess spots the strangers first. Two men, the dark haired one carrying an infant in a sling. She gets up, leaving her holopad on the ground and darting inside to alert her parents to the presence of strangers. Her father grabs his blaster, flicking the safety off and stepping outside.

He keeps the blaster pointed at the ground, keeping it clear that he'll use it if he feels he has a need to. Both men stop a few feet away, and Brason gets the distinct feeling that these two are, or were soldiers, from the way they carry themselves.

"Good morning. My name is Ben Kenobi. We're sorry to bother you." Brason raises an eyebrow at the overly jovial tone and the hand wave, but these two don't seem to want to cause any trouble. He flicks the safety back on his blaster.

"What brings you here?" Brason asks, looking from Ben to the dark haired man at his shoulder.

"We were looking for a ride up to the nearest start port." Ben says and gives another hand wave.

"Oh. Well if that's all." Brason nods, giving Ben a smile. What a nice guy, very polite. "I'll have Jaro fly you up there right away."

"We'd be most thankful." Ben smiles again. "Thank you."

"Thanks." The dark haired man gives a nod, voice odd, like he's trying to hide an accent. 

"What's your companions name?" Brason asks, the man's face tickling something at the corner of his mind. He's sure he's seen the man somewhere before but he has no idea where. Ben gives him another smile and a wave of his hand and the tickle in Brason's mind goes away. "I'll go talk to Jaro."

"Much obliged." Ben tells him and Brason heads off to get Jaro to fly the polite strangers up to the star port.

"Do you really need to be that showy?" Cody asks quietly and Obi Wan shrugs.

"A little showmanship never hurt anyone."

"Jedi." Cody mutters, sounding a touch exasperated and Obi Wan's lips curl, amused at the both of them. Brason come back with another man, who Obi Wan is assuming must be Jaro.

"It's twenty five credits a person." Jaro tells Obi Wan who gives a little wave of his hand.

"We have ten credits between us."

"I can do it for ten." Jaro agrees immediately and Cody bites back the snort that wants to erupt. Who needs to bargain when you have a Jedi to play mind tricks for you? 

"You need any supplies?" Brason asks and Obi Wan seems to consider it before he shakes his head.

"Thank you, but no. Just the ride will do."


	3. Chapter 3

From Dagobah they planet jump, never spending more than a week in one place. Obi Wan knows his former padawan is unaware that he his children survived, and he'd like to keep it that way. There's still no word from Rex, but he keeps sending the messages anyway. It's likely that he's sending messages out to blank space, no guarantee that Rex is even still alive. And it's only the small point of light that Obi Wan feels when he looks that tells him the former Captain is still out there.

Cody has taken to wearing bland looking robes the color of the protein that was served standard for all meals. He covers his head, covers his face so only his eyes are visible. No one looks twice at him. 

Obi Wan shaves his head and beard in a worn down travelers den on Alzoc III. He comes out of the fresher looking like a padawan and Cody stares at him for a long few minutes before he laughs until he cries and Obi Wan pelts him with musty smelling pillows. 

Luke gurgles happily, waving chubby arms in the air. 

"No wonder you grew a beard." Cody chokes and Obi Wan glares at him, face flaming red. "No one would have taken you seriously otherwise."

"I'm going for food." Obi Wan tells him, voice clipped and Cody sits up, wiping at his eyes. It's been a long time since there was anything to laugh about, and it feels good, like an emotional purge of sorts. 

"I can go, sir. You stay with Luke."

"Cody-." 

"It's fine sir. Besides, if you go out there looking like a youngling, you might get picked up by slavers." His eyes crinkle up, his own version of a smile. His brothers used to joke that when Cody smiled, that's when you knew you were kriffed.

"Di'kut." Obi Wan mutters and Cody gives a little snort and grabs the credits Obi Wan had filched with nimble fingers and force pulls. Cody doesn't have the dexterity to pick pockets, not a skill he'd been taught, and not one he had a mind to learn. 

It's freezing outside, the snow blowing in wild bursts that sting like alcohol on an open wound. Cody puts his head down and walks. There's a shop a block down from the travellers den, and he puts the credits to good use, picking up a bit of formula for Luke and a few odds and ends for himself and Obi Wan. They both know how to ration, and what he buys will last them until they jump to a new planet. 

He still doesn't know where they're going, Obi Wan hasn't told him anything more about Anakin, beyond what he learned in the swamps, and Cody hasn't pressed the issue. When Obi Wan is ready to talk, he'll talk. Until then, Cody will follow his general into the jaws of death if that's where Obi Wan feels they need to go.

There's a Gamorrean watching him when he comes out of the shop and Cody watches him back until the Gamorrean looks away first. Kriff it all. He heads back to the travellers den, taking a long and winding path on his return. If anyone followed him, he couldn't spot them.

"I had a watcher." He tells Obi Wan when he comes through the door. "We need to leave." Obi Wan nods and starts to pack up. Cody passes him the supplies and takes the burikad, winding it around himself the way Obi Wan taught him and settling Luke down into it. He pulls his coat on, buttoning it up until Luke is fully covered and won't be touched by the biting snow. Obi Wan throws a hat and the long scarf he's taken to wearing and Cody puts both on.

Obi Wan pulls his own coat and hat on. He wipes down what he can of the room and follows Cody out into the freezing night. He leaves Cody and Luke with the supplies, manipulating the vendors mind to get them tickets on the first transport out of Alzoc III. Doesn't matter where it's going, they just need to be on it.

From Azloc III they travel to Arbra, staying there for a grand total of six hours before they're on another transport headed for Blenjeel. From there they hop to Lahsbane, Kamino and Kowak before finally going dirtside on Tattooine.

Cody feeds Luke while Obi Wan talks to someone on an ancient communication box that's seen better days. When he needs to know Obi Wan's plans, he'll know about them. 

"Hello Beru. Is Owen home?" 

"Master Kenobi?" Beru's face is just starting to show lines from the harshness of the world she's grown up on. "Is everything alright?"

"To put it simply, no. I need to speak with the two of you as soon as possible."

"Where are you?" A line forms between Beru's brows, looking behind Obi Wan. "Are you on Tatooine?"

"Yes." Obi Wan nods and Beru's lips thin before she nods, offering him a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Owen will be back this evening. Please, come by the farm. It's been so long since we've seen you."

"Thank you Beru." Obi Wan smiles back. "We'll be there in a few hours."

"We?" Beru asks, voice dropping. 

"I have to go. Thank you Beru." He hangs up, the screen filtering to static over Beru's image and trudges back to where Cody is gently patting Luke's back. Luke gives an impressive little belch and Cody wipes at his mouth and chin, cleaning him up. "I need to go arrange for transport to the Lars moisture farm." Obi Wan says and Cody nods, getting to his feet. "We're going to leave Luke with his aunt and uncle."

"Will he be safe with them?" Cody asks, brows knitting together and Obi Wan nods.

"Yes. This is the last place in the galaxy his father would come to look for him." He sounds run down, exhausted, and a bit of the mask he's been wearing all these months falls away, leaving him looking grey faced and older than he should, even without the beard. "My former master found Anakin here." He confides in Cody. "He was a slave. His mother died here, killed by Tuskan raiders before the wars began. Anakin will never come back to Tatooine."

"General Skywalker was a slave?" Cody asks, eyebrows raising. 

"He was." Obi Wan nods. "I should have....but it's no use crying over spilled bantha fodder. What's done is done. Come, we've got to find suitable transport." The mask is fastened back in place before Cody can blink and Obi Wan is leading him towards a shop, a couple of bantha tied to grazing posts outside. 

XxX XxX

Obi Wan gets a speeder. It's old, has seen better days, but it's not a bantha and that's all that matters. Cody sits in the rear, shielding Luke from the dust and the wind that wips over his face and hair. He's got his scarf tied tightly around his mouth and nose, but there's no taming his hair, which has long since grown out of the rebuplic standard flat top he's worn since birth. It flies into his eyes, tangling wildly in the wind and the dust until Cody starts to think that prehaps Obi Wan has the right idea when he shaved his head.

It takes an hour to go from the small trading post to the moisture farm, Obi Wan stopping and starting a few times to make sure they weren't being followed. Though it's been a long time since someone followed them. The last one was on Kamino, and Cody put the bounty hunter down hard and fast before the Gran even knew he was there. They'd taken it's credits and sold what they found on it for extra cash. Enough to pay for their trip to Tatooine and the speeder. 

When they finally stop, Cody's hair and eyebrows are almost white with dust and Obi Wan lets out a guffaw at the look of him. "Well, now I know what you'll look like in a few more years." He teases and Cody just fixes him with an unimpressed stare and tries his best to untangle the mess of hair that's snarled up beyond his control.

Obi Wan takes Luke from him and Cody just sighs, giving up the battle he's never going to win. He'll borrow a razor from the family he's about to meet. He slaps at his clothing to loosen the worst of the dust and follows Obi Wan to the door of the small white house that stands out in the yellow sand like a clone trooper in a meadow.

There's a woman standing outside and she takes one look at Obi Wan holding Luke and her hand flies up to her mouth, eyes welling with tears. "Beru. It's good to see you again." Obi Wan greets her.

"Master Kenobi." She gives a little bow and then reaches out to take Luke from Obi Wan, looking down at Luke before her eyes fly up to Obi Wan's. "He has Anakin's eyes." She says softly, sounding choked. Obi Wan nods, confirming what she already knows.

"Yes, Beru. This is Anakin's son."

"Why did you bring him here?" Beru asks, already ducking into her home. Obi Wan follows after her and Cody takes his place beside the door, guarding the occupants inside it.

"Cody. Come inside." Obi Wan says, voice amused and Cody turns to look at him for a moment before he follows. He stands beside the door, hands clasped behind his back. 

"Please. Sit." Beru says quietly and Obi Wan takes a seat at what seems to be the mess table. He gives Cody a _come here and sit down_ look and Cody gives a quiet sigh and moves to sit beside Obi Wan while Beru holds Luke who starts to fuss, unsure of this new person. "Shhh, sweetheart, shhh." Beru croons to him.

"Beg your pardon, ma'am. But he doesn't like to be jostled like that." Cody tells her when Luke's fussing takes on a decidedly pissy edge, and that comes right before a complete meltdown. He's only had one of those since Cody's been lucid, but it's not an experience he wants to repeat.

"Oh. I didn't realize-" Beru shakes her head and smiles softly, just holding Luke now. He settles down fairly quickly but when Beru comes closer to the table he holds his little arms out to Cody.

"Come here, nipper." Cody says warmly and takes Luke from Beru, letting the boy cuddle close to him.

"What happened?" Beru asks and Obi Wan shakes his head. 

"I'll tell you when Owen gets home. It's not a story I want to repeat." His voice is low, angry, grief filled and Cody can't help but wonder what the kriff went down between Anakin and Obi Wan, who were as close as he was to any of his brothers, closer even. He knows it's not uncommon for padawan's to betray their masters, it's known that Count Dooku was Master Yoda's former padawan, and look what happened there. The man turned into a sith.

Cody's blood runs cold at the thought and he looks at Obi Wan. Did Anakin truly turn to the dark side? He won't ask. He's been patient enough over the last month of planet hopping, he can wait a few more hours. 

"Do you have a razor, ma'am?" He asks Beru and she looks at him as if she's seeing him for the first time.

"Why do you need a razor?" 

"My hair." Cody says simply. He'd lift a hand to show her the tangles, but Luke is busy chewing on his thumb, the poor little nipper's teeth are coming in and it's one of the only things that keeps him calm. 

"Do you have a comb?" Obi Wan asks, voice full of humor and Beru nods, moving into another room and coming back with a brush, handing it to Obi Wan. "Tilt your head back, Cody."

"Sir?"

"I'm going to brush your hair, Cody." Obi Wan tells him. 

"I'd prefer to just shave it, sir."

"Well, you're going to have to settle with me combing it out for now." Obi Wan tells him and Cody just sighs and tilts his head back, wincing a bit whenever Obi Wan catches a particularly stubborn knot. Once the knots have been taken care of, Obi Wan keeps combing, working some of the dust out of Cody's hair.

Cody gives him a full minute of extra brushing before he pulls away from Obi Wan. "Thank you, sir."

"You're quite welcome, Cody." Obi Wan sets the brush on the table and Beru takes it, putting it back in her bedroom and coming back out. She pours two glasses of water, setting them on the table. Obi Wan takes his, sipping from it and offering a comment on the quality of the water. Cody rolls his eyes and pops his thumb out of Luke's mouth, wiping it on his pants before he picks up his own glass. Water is water. It's good, clears the dust from his mouth, wets his throat. He drains the glass in three quick swallows, setting it back on the table and giving a nod of thanks to Beru.

Obi Wan watches him with a mix of amusement and fondness, an expression he's always seemed to wear when he looks at the brothers who served him in the past and goes back to sipping from his water glass. Cody ignores him and gives Luke back his thumb. Luke starts gnawing on it right away, using Cody's callouses to scratch his itchy swollen gums.

"He's teething?" Beru asks and Cody nods. 

"Little nipper has a couple of molars so far. Nothing coming through in the front yet." Beru smiles at Cody and he gives her a smile back. 

"I've always wanted to have a child." Beru says and Cody takes a breath and passes Luke to her, now that he's worn himself out. She takes the baby, cuddling him close. "Owen and I tried for years, but nothing." She presses a kiss to Luke's forehead. 

"The force brings things where they need to be the most." Obi Wan says. 

"Are we the force then?" Cody asks quietly and Obi Wan gives him a flat look, even if there's humor in the creases around his eyes.

"In this? Yes, we are." Cody just nods and goes back to watching Beru cuddle Luke. He'll grow up here, with parents who love him, who want him. He'll grow up safe here, far away from the horrors of war. Obi Wan made a good choice, bringing Luke to people who will care for him like he's their own flesh and blood. It's what Cody would have done. 

Beru stops from where she's rocking Luke, humming a lullaby to him and turns to look at Obi Wan. "What happened to Padme? Luke came from her, yes?"

"Yes." Obi Wan nods. "Luke was her son."

"Was." Beru echoes quietly and she goes pale under her tan. "She's dead then?" Cody closes his eyes, hands clenching into helpless fists under the table. The senator was beyond brave, never shirking her duty, never hesitating when the fight came to her, no matter if it was in the senate or on the battlefield. Senator Amidala dead and General Skywalker lost to something his General hasn't spoken of. And if it is true, if General Skywalker turned to the dark side, he thinks he understands why General Kenobi has yet to speak of it. The pain of that loss must still be fresh in the General's heart.

He's tried to think of General Skywalker as a Sith, and it doesn't match up. General Skywalker was impulsive, reckless, and sharp tempered. But none of those things are Sith attributes.

"How did it happen?" Beru asks and Cody looks over at his General, waiting for the answer he knows General Kenobi will give.

"It's part of that story I need Owen here for." Obi Wan says gently. "But she died giving birth."

"She died fighting." Cody says, giving a little nod of approval. Senator Amidala was strong, and a warrior's death suited her personality. Obi Wan looks at him curiously and Beru gives Cody a smile, understanding his thoughts perfectly. 

"She was strong." Beru says. "And so full of compassion. I only met her once, after Anakin went to rescue Shmi from the Tusken Raiders that had taken her. She was so full of life, of the need to help others. She'll be missed, and not only by me."

"She'll be missed by us all." Cody says in simple agreement. 

"Owen should be getting home right about now." Beru says, moving to tuck Luke down into a basket that holds wrinkled blankets. "What are you in the mood for?"

"We're not fussy." Obi Wan says simply and Cody nods in agreement. 

"I have some zucca boar I've been saving for a special occasion." Beru decides after a few moments of thinking. "This seems as good a time as any."

"Do you need help?" Cody asks and Beru gives him a surprised look before she shakes her head. 

"Thank you, but no. You rest. You look exhausted."

"I'll be fine, ma'am." Cody reassures her.

"Sit. Please. You're guests in my home." Beru says, giving Cody a smile. Cody nods and stays where he is, ignoring General Kenobi's amused look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am doing my absolute best to keep Obi Wan and Cody true to their characterizations through all of this. A big thank you to olorisstra for the beta read.
> 
>  
> 
> Both of these are Mando'a terms. :)
> 
> di'kut - fool, idiot, useless individual; context-dependent: can mean jerk, moron, etc, 
> 
> birikad - baby carrying harness


	4. Chapter 4

"Anakin was always special." Obi Wan says, voice quiet. He's leaning forward, all but curled around the cup of coffee Beru gave him as an aftermeal treat. Cody had taken one sip of his and put it down, it's too strong, too sweet compared to what he's used to drinking. There's some brothers that sneak stimulants where they can, but he's always done his best to avoid them. Caffiene and alcohol cloud the mind and make soldiers less effective. "He had the highest midiclorian count I've ever seen. I think the highest anyone has ever seen and he was just a child." 

Owen watches Obi Wan as he speaks, a hand settled on Beru's knee in a way that looks possessive to Cody. Beru has her arms full of a drowsy Luke who's halfheartedly sucking on his soother. "Schmi loved him so much." Beru says, giving Obi Wan a sad smile. "It broke her heart when Master Jinn took him away. But she was so happy that he was getting away from this horrible place."

Obi Wan takes a breath, nodding. "There was a darkness in him." He says, sounding like it's tearing him apart to verbalize his thoughts. "I think it was always in him, and I let it pass. I always let it pass. When Master Qui Gonn brought him in front of the council the first time, Master Yoda forbid us from teaching him."

"He forbid you from taking General Skywalker on as a padawan?" Cody asks, nudging his coffee towards General Kenobi. 

"Master Yoda told us Anakin had too much fear in him. That it would poison his mind in the end."

"He was a _child_." Owen says, voice mildly annoyed. "Taken from everything he knew, from his mother. Of course he was afraid. " Obi Wan looks up, a bit startled at Owen's tone.

"I don't think it was that sort of fear." Beru tells Owen who offers her a tired smile. "Anakin was such a brave boy. He seemed fearless to me, always ready to dig himself into trouble wherever he could find it."

"It wasn't just fear." Obi Wan says. "It was anger. He never learned how to let go of his anger. I never _taught_ him how to let go of it. He was angry, and he was afraid, and I wasn't there for him the way he needed me to be."

"I don't think anyone could have been there for Anakin the way he wanted." Owen says quietly. "He wanted a family and he got the jedi instead." 

"Yes." Obi Wan nods, looking oddly fragile to Cody. "He got the jedi. I should have-"

"Maybe you should have." Beru agrees. "But what's done is done, Master Kenobi." Her voice is brisk and she passes Luke to her husband, moving to kneel in front of Obi Wan. "If the past could be undone, none of our choices would matter. The past hurts, and it's meant to." She isn't gentle with him, doesn't think she can afford to be. "That pain is needed to teach you what needs to be done for the future. It shows you things about yourself you never knew before, shows you how strong you can be."

Obi Wan takes a shuddering breath and then nods, coming out of the darkness he'd been caught in. "Thank you, Beru." 

"You're welcome, Master Kenobi."

"Where was I?" Obi Wan asks, trying for levity.

"Anakin was special." Cody offers, nudging his coffee cup towards the General. "But he had a lot of fear and Master Yoda told you to choose another Padawan."

"He wasn't my padawan at that point." Obi Wan says, clearing his throat. "He became mine after Darth Maul killed Master Qui Gonn. Master Qui Gonn had me promise to take Anakin as my padawan before he died. So I did." He drinks his coffee, savouring the rich flavour. Cody nudges his cup towards Obi Wan again and the jedi smiles, taking it and adding it to his own. "I took him as my padawan. I encouraged him to befriend the emperor, who I had assumed would be a good mentor for him, would teach him how to use the political game to his advantage."

"That sounds smart." Owen nods. Obi Wan gives a humorless snort and rubs a hand over his face.

"As it turns out, the Emperor was a Sith lord all along." Obi Wan says as evenly as he can. "Emperor Palpatine took his place as Darth Sidious." He makes himself meet Cody's eyes for this next part. "And Anakin took his place as Sidious' right hand."

"No." Cody's voice is low, eyes full of horror. "Kriff no."

"I don't know if you ever met him before I stole you away from the Republic." Obi Wan says, voice gentle. "He goes by Darth Vader these days." Cody is frozen, everything he is is cold, so so cold. Beru cries out in shock and horror and it sounds a thousand miles away to Cody's ears. 

"No!" Beru covers her face, tears burning down her cheeks. "Oh Anakin. Anakin. By your mother's grave! Please, no. Anakin. Anakin. No." She's wailing now, rocking back and forth, her grief and horror turning her into a wild thing. Cody watches her calmly, and then he gets up, leaving the sitting room, leaving the house. He can't breathe in that airless place. Can't breathe with everyone crowding him.

He falls to his knees, sucking in hard desperate breaths, his lungs refusing to fill up. He's drowning, dying, lost and broken and alone, words burning in his ears, in his mind. Words that make him retch, vomiting up dinner into the sand, until there's nothing left in him but bile. His arms shake, his breath coming in hard sobs.

_GOOD SOLDIERS FOLLOW ORDERS._

There's a gentle hand on his shoulder, pulling him back into a kneeling position. Owen passes him a rag to wipe his mouth with, squeezing his shoulder and crouching next to him. "I'm sorry." He says simply and Cody nods even as he starts to shake. His teeth chatter and he clenches his jaw. "Come back inside." He helps Cody to his feet, guiding him back inside. 

Obi Wan is comforting Beru who's still wailing, lost in her greif. Luke is matching her cries with his own and Cody ignores the water Owen passes him, moving to scoop Luke up and cradling him, soothing him as best he can. It's easier to take care of someone else when you're feeling shattered, easier to push all the broken pieces down inside yourself and pretend you're still whole.

"It's okay." Cody tells Luke, his voice shaking. "It's okay, nipper. I've gotchu. You're okay." Luke starts to calm and Cody takes him outside, away from Beru's wild animal grief, holding Luke close to his chest, letting his heartbeat sooth the infant as it always has in the past. "I'll keep you safe, ad'ika." He promises. "As long as my heart beats, I'll keep you safe." 

XxX XxX

Cody stays outside until the sun sets and the moon rises, until the stars come out. The heat from the desert fades slowly, so slowly Cody doesn't notice the chill. He's so cold inside it doesn't matter when the rest of him catches up, and even when he starts to shiver he doesn't seem to notice.

Obi Wan comes out later, when the moon has risen above the horizon, fat and yellow and calming. Luke is a warm weight against his chest and Cody's brain is finally quiet. 

"Cody." There's alarm in Obi Wan's voice and Cody turns his head to look up at his General. "Have you been out here this whole time?"

"Luke was crying, sir." He tells Obi Wan, the last word lost in a yawn. "He's quiet now. It's alright."

"Cody you need to come inside." 

"I'm fine, sir." Cody assures his General. 

"Come inside." Obi Wan says again. "That's an order."

"Yes sir." Cody pushes himself to his feet. His body is stiff and sore from sitting for so long, nothing he can't deal with. He follows his General back into the house. It's blissfully quiet and he lets Obi Wan take Luke without a fight. 

"I put Beru under. She'll sleep for the next couple of days." Obi Wan says quietly, tucking Luke under his chin and steering Cody towards the spare bedroom Owen had made up while Obi Wan was doing his best to sooth Beru. "Take off your boots."

"Yes sir." It's easier to follow orders, to not think about anything. Cody unlaces his boots, pulling them off and placing them just under the bed where he can grab them in a hurry. He pulls off his clothes, folding them up neatly and placing them on his boots. He takes one of the pillows from the bed and places it on the floor where he expects to be sleeping.

"Cody, get into bed." Obi Wan says gently and Cody looks over at him, swaying with exhaustion.

"Sir?"

"Get into bed." Obi Wan says again. 

"I'm taking the floor." Cody says, like Obi Wan has to be assured that Cody doesn't want the bed.

"Get into bed." Obi Wan snaps, shoving Cody onto the mattress with a gentle force-push. "It's big enough for the two of us and you are not sleeping on the floor."

"Sir, I can sleep on the floor." Cody says again and Obi Wan fights not to yell at him. He takes a deep, calming breath. Then another one.

"You are in shock right now." He tells the commander who's looking up at him, dull eyed and grey faced. "And you probably have a touch of hypothermia from sitting outside for two hours. You are not sleeping on the floor. Get under the covers and shove over. Or do I have to make it an order, _Commander_?"

"No, sir." Cody slides under the covers, pushing himself over until his shoulder touches the wall. "I'm sorry sir."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Obi Wan says, passing Luke to him so he can undress and crawl under the thick blankets. "Turn on your side." Obi Wan says and Cody obeys, letting himself be tucked snuggly back against the General's chest. He holds Luke close to him, watching the baby sleep while the blankets and body heat work their magic. He warms up, slow and steady, until he starts to shiver, teeth chattering as his body comes back from the brink of freezing.

"Go to sleep." Obi Wan says and Cody's eyes grow heavy, his breath evening out into long, slow pulls as he's pushed under by his General's influence. Between one breath and the next, he's asleep and Obi Wan presses his face against Cody's neck. His breath catches helplessly and he finally allows himself to grieve for his lost padawan. He uses Cody as a beacon to ground himself, so his grief and his anger don't choke him, so he can find his way back to the light through the darkness Anakin has given him, and when he's finally empty, he sleeps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ad'ika - kid, lad, boy, sweetie, darling, son, daughter, child


End file.
